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Spam's House of Words

Rants

These are why I opted to call my domain vitriol.com. I am bombastic, opinionated, and willing, nay eager, to share my spleen venting with the whole wide world.

Does Barney the dinosaur lead to teen pregnancy?

Doomed before release: the Sega Dreamcast video game system

A quick sampling of the idiocy foisted off on me by the school system

Essays

When I was in school I used to hate writing essays. My opinions on the schools I attended can be found above. It's a darn shame too, since I eventually learned to appreciate the form, useful for such varying ends as paleontology (Stephen J. Gould shines here) and humour (Dave Barry). My efforts in this arena range from mere snippets to rambling treatises.

Helen Keller jokes and the human spirit

Kissing is magical for me. Here are some of my reminiscences and musings on the subject.

Love and Madness.

Love and Obsession.

Why do people tell tales and write essays, anyway?

"It isn't fair!": a common complaint, but what does it mean?

Humor

The art of intricately written humour is no longer as widely practised as it was in the days of John Kendrick Bangs, Thorne Smith, and Oscar Wilde. While I have no illusions as to being comparable to any of the above, I do enjoy their style.

What if I tried to describe my friends and their activities to a computer?

A fanciful foray into what systematised godhood might be like.

Do you really want to eat while watching intestinal surgery?

How bad can erotica be made? (With Meredith Tanner)

What if our brains ran Unix and we had to upgrade periodically?

Ever hear of grape races? Well, hang on to your 'nads.

A standup comedy routine I wrote involving speed limits and relationships.

Musings

This is a catchall category, for whatever didn't seem to fit in the hodgepodge above.

The different faces we show to ourselves, in private, and to others.

A few thoughts on the action figures in toy stores.

Some of my thoughts and my friends' theories on some unexpected behaviour of a labelmaker.

How would you phrase "I have many friends, some of whom with which I occasionally have sex."

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